Living London Page 6

  At last, Lord Ashby excused himself and bowed graciously toward an approaching Amelia. She accepted his invitation to dance, and I was left alone with my thoughts. Amelia had excused herself shortly after her dance with Lord Rake, but I knew she'd be back soon. and when she returned, I had a few questions for her.

  "May I have this dance as well?" came a caramelized voice from behind me. Either Lord Rake wanted me to turn him down and sit out the rest of the dances of the evening, or he wanted to cause a stir.

  "Why would you ask that?" I whispered, upset at his attempt to bring more attention to me.

  "Ask you to dance? Why, because I enjoy it. Everyone enjoys… dancing." His eyes left my face and appraised my body in a heated way. When his gaze met mine again, I was scowling. He was handsome and charming, but that wouldn't cover his many sins.

  "You! No wonder she won't give you the time of day! You have no shame! What is wrong with you?" I spoke heatedly, drawing attention from the nearby gentry. He had the good sense to look unsure of himself. My face heated as I realized I was scolding an Earl, and I was ashamed of my outburst. With a quieter tone, I continued the conversation in whisper.

  "Forgive me, my lord. Why would you ask me to dance again? Already I'm on display here. Please…" The emotional stress of keeping up appearances was too heavy for even my broad shoulders to bear. "Please," I whispered. "I just want to go home." In so many ways.

  Realizing my turmoil was authentic and not some simpering feminine ploy, his expression changed from Lord Rake to protective older brother. "I apologize for my behavior, Miss Westin. You're clearly upset, and I've only made it worse. It was never my intention. Please forgive me. I'll return shortly to escort you to your carriage once it's ready." With a very proper bow, he was gone.

  "Are you well?" Amelia asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

  "No, I just…" I paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready to go home and Lord Rake — er, Lord Heath offered to get my carriage ready."

  "You looked upset." Her brown eyes searched mine, her gloved hand still on my arm giving me comfort.

  "I was. I scolded him for asking for another dance when I knew it would cause even more talk and attention."

  Lord Ashby, who had escorted Amelia to my side, excused himself abruptly. Amelia and I watched him stride off purposefully. And once again I found myself admiring his shoulders. "What was that about?" I asked Amelia, but she was already looking at me with a small smile on her face.

  "Jealousy." Her smirk widened. "You've always had a tendre for him, you know. It's good that even though you don't remember your best friends' names, you still have great taste in men," she joked.

  "I've always had a thing for him, huh?" I asked, killing the English language with my slang.

  "Er, yes, you've always had a… thing."

  "Was he courting me?" I asked, hopeful.

  "No. He's not what society would expect you to align yourself with. They would expect someone like Lord Heath. Someone famous, wealthy, and eternally titled. After all, you are the last available Westin."

  "Did I want that? The fame, wealth, and eternal title?" I asked, scared to know the answer.

  "No." She looked into my eyes and gave me a huge dose of home. "You want love."

  Chapter Seven

  The next day, I thought over Amelia's words. I did want love, and Nanna had said I would find love here. How I wished for that book, so I could re-read her letter, memorize it even more. A tear slid down my cheek, and I saw Libby hand me a handkerchief.

  "Here, miss, don't cry. It'll be a beautiful day today, you'll see." Poor Libby had been fixing my hair, preparing me for the day, when I'd broken down for no apparent reason. She was so kind. It made me cry even more.

  "I know just the thing. You should go shopping today," she announced, and she was right. That did sound like fun. My tears slowed, and I offered her a tentative smile.

  "Shopping always did lift your spirits, miss," she said as she shoved the final pins into place. "You'll need a walking dress and boots."

  "Not slippers?"

  "No, you won't want slippers in the streets. You'll also need a pelisse. Ah, here we go."

  She pulled out a sky blue dress with the lightest layer peeking from beneath. The empire waist would be set off with an adorable short jacket in stark white. Here we go again, I thought as Libby went behind me to tighten my stays. Apparently breathing is overrated in Regency London.

  "Release your breath, miss." Libby requested. I wanted to do the opposite and take a larger breath to save some room. Wanting to trick her, I expelled my breath quickly and tried to gasp a larger amount of air, but she was quicker. I lost.

  "Hrump." Not only did I have no extra room, but I doubted I'd be able to walk at all without oxygen. "Libby, please, not that tight. I can't breathe," I managed with the last of my air.

  "Very well, miss. But I'll only loosen it a bit."

  I breathed in the blessed life-giving air and braced myself as she did a final tighten. Once dressed, I headed for the door only to be stopped by Libby, who announced I was not ready, again. "Your hat, miss!" She held up a strange contraption that would scare children and small dogs.

  Hat? No, that was a bird that lost a fight with a straw pile. "I'm to wear that?" I asked dubiously. The monstrosity was wide-brimmed to shade my face from the sun and prohibit any peripheral vision. Feathers crowned the top and a large ribbon hung loose to be tied around my neck. I would look like Little Bo Peep, with feathers.

  "Of course, it's the newest fashion."

  "Libby, do I have to? Do I have any other ones to wear?"

  "Of course you must, but if you would rather wear a different one, here are your choices."

  She opened up a few boxes filled with hats of every kind. Top hats, jaunty riding hats, feathered mini hats, large-brimmed straw hats, and some creations I didn't want to wear, ever, on my head. After considering my choices, I chose a small crepe hat with matching veil. I'd always loved veils. The netting covered my eyes and was fantastically fashionable, or at least I hoped. I went to the mirror and set it on my head, then tilted it so it sat at an angle. Satisfied, I picked up a few pins.

  "Oh, miss, let me. Are you sure you wish to wear this hat rather than your bonnet? Your skin will freckle."

  The idle threat didn't change my decision. I hadn't freckled in the sun before; I doubted my skin would begin now. "Yes, I'm sure, Libby. Thank you." She secured the pins and I adjusted the veil. The day was looking brighter all the time.

  ****

  Shopping had been fun. Aside from the smell of unclean bodies and other scents I didn't want to remember, the shops had been lovely, and I'd spent quite a bit of what Libby called "pin money" on new hats — ones that looked like hats. I figured I might as well since I was going to be subjected to wearing them. Libby walked with me, helping me as needed. The afternoon ended perfectly when we ran into Amelia and walked a while with her.

  We stopped at Gunther's for an ice. The famous establishment was mentioned often in the books I'd read, and a shiver danced down my spine as I entered. Part of me still couldn't believe that I was here. The various patrons sat and conversed over delicious desserts. The décor and fashion of the gentry reminded me of a set for an old Austenian movie, one in which I was living. Ladies wore large bonnets and pristine gloves as they ate their confections with dainty bites. The men were laughing, nodding, and assisting their ladies with their seats, desserts and any other attention they might require. When a new person would walk in, everyone would wave or nod and call them by name if they were acquainted. It was far more social than I had anticipated.

  We spoke with a few ladies about the events of the night before and were told the latest gossip. All the while, my mind kept trying to accept the fact that this was real. My new reality. Strange as it seemed, I was beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and I found myself enjoying the conversation and all-around experience.

  Amelia made it easy for me to be
myself. Even though I had no memory of her, it was apparent she knew me well. As I wondered which flavor to order, she whispered that lemon was my favorite. After a few minutes of chatting with an older countess, she excused us and told me how I usually limited my time with the woman because she gossiped too often, and I found it offensive. I smiled. I'd just begun to feel uncomfortable in that particular conversation. Amelia was a blessing, and I was eternally thankful for her friendship.

  Afterward we left to visit Madame Marquette, Amelia's modiste. Even though I had read countless books on the Regency era, each one in some way telling of a modiste, I didn't quite know what to expect. As we rounded the corner, we stopped at a small shop that didn't seem as grand as I would have pictured. A little bell tinkled to announce our arrival as Amelia pressed open the door.

  The room inside didn't match its humble exterior. Mirrors were lined up against the lavishly golden-papered walls. Women bustled about measuring ladies, writing notes, and nodding as their patrons gave specific instructions. Scores of fabric samples and fashion magazines laid everywhere. What I didn't see were the dresses. In fact, the only dresses I saw were being worn by the women.

  "Where are the dresses?" I whispered to Amelia.

  "Hmm? Dresses?" she asked as she picked up a primrose yellow fabric sample and rubbed it between her fingers.

  "Of course. Where are they?" I asked, my eyes still roving about the room and taking in the dresses being fitted.

  "Oh, they don't make them here, silly. This is just the shop. They're made at a different location."

  "Then why are we here?" I asked, still not catching on.

  Amelia turned toward me and sighed impatiently. "To pick up the dress I ordered last week. These things take time, you know." She raised her eyebrow delicately.

  "Of course they take time. They're made by hand, for pity's sake." Not my brightest comment, I decided after it left my mouth. Of course they were handmade — there were no tags here that said Made in China.

  "Well, of course. How else would they be made, hmm?" Amelia's voice was patronizing.

  A short woman with perfectly coiffed hair and a shrewd eye approached us. "Welcome! May I help you?" she asked in a thick French accent.

  "Yes. I'm here to pick up my dress." Amelia walked off with the woman, leaving me behind.

  I picked up a paper fashion book, noticing that my wardrobe was the height of fashion. A surge of pride filled my chest. Everything was empire-waisted with varying types of belts, colors, pelisses, coats, gloves, and hats. I set the paper down and walked over to a bolt of fabric. I fingered a soft silk in a puce color, and then eyed the rest of the samples for a deep blue or perhaps an olive green.

  "Jocelyn?" Amelia called from a corner where she had put on her new dress. The French woman was taking notes.

  "Yes?"

  "What do you think?" she asked as she smoothed the fabric with her gloved hands. It was beautiful, a perfect shade of amber and cream to offset her dark hair.

  "I think it's perfect. I love the color."

  "What about the fit? Madame Marquette thinks I should take it in about a half-inch from the skirt.

  "Half-inch? Would it make that much of a difference?" Back home I'd bought things in premade sizes and taken them home hoping for the best. Here, everything was made specifically for the wearer of the garment. Heaven help me if I gained weight. I could see myself now — Yes, could you just please let it out a bit here, and here so I can breathe? That was not a conversation I wanted to have, ever.

  My thoughts were interrupted by Madame Marquette. "Of course it would make a difference! This dress, it is distinctive. If it hangs, then the dress will not live up to its potential." Her hands glided over the fabric, pulling it and adjusting it as she spoke. "Not to mention, it will not be as beautiful as Miss Amelia deserves." Her eyes twinkled as she looked up at Amelia, and I smiled, noticing the relationship between the two. This wasn't simply about a dress.

  "You heard Madame. A half-inch it is." I nodded.

  Soon after we left the store, Amelia had to say goodbye, but I knew I'd see her in a few days. The theater had a new production that Amelia had invited me to attend with her family, and I readily agreed. I pinched myself, smiling at the pain because that meant this was real. I couldn't wait for the next few days to pass so I could set foot into such a piece of history. Drury Lane.

  Chapter Eight

  I fingered the peacock-feathered headdress as I waited for Libby to finish setting out my clothes for the evening. Every evening I had an engagement of some sort — such a stark contrast from my former routine of making dinner and watching "The Bachelor" at night.

  Tonight I would be going to Drury Lane Theater. Just the thought made me sigh out loud. How often had I read about that place? Sitting in a box seat with opera glasses, the men dressed up with their top hats and the women in their sparkling jewelry, watching. The evening couldn't begin fast enough.

  "Now, miss, remember, don't be going off by yourself. Take Miss Amelia with you," Libby instructed me. Her constant instruction was more than helpful. "Just follow Miss Amelia's lead, and you'll be fine. Enjoy yourself," she added as she put the final touches on my dress and hat. She placed a large emerald around my neck that accented my matching clipped earrings. The dark green made my eyes seem deeper. A regency debutante stared back at me when I gazed into the mirror. Every inch of my reflection was ladylike, mature and feminine. My gown wasn't a 'little black dress' but a lighter hue that was just as sexy. The light grey was as close to black as I could get without being in mourning, and the rich green velvet complimented the grey perfectly. My emerald green satin slippers only peeked out from beneath the overly long gown, but they provided the perfect accent. Adjusting my headdress, I thanked Libby again and made my way to the door.

  ****

  The steps into the theater were littered with people glittering from head to toe. Kean would be playing Shylock, and everyone who was anyone had turned out. At least that was what Amelia had said when I met her at the theater's entrance.

  The buzz of human voices became a dull roar as we moved further into the throng. A large chandelier hung from the ornately painted ceiling, and crystals from the light piece reflected onto the walls. The illuminated hall was decorated in rich, bold colors that were highlighted by the stark white of pillars and winding marble staircases leading to the balcony. As I followed Amelia up the stairs to her box, I asked her to stop so I could simply absorb all the details of the room. The high ceiling, archways, and artwork all glistened with candlelight. It was better than any book had ever described, and I was living it. I almost tripped on my gown, but I righted myself without anyone noticing other than Amelia, who gave me a stern look.

  "I know you don't remember this place, but you'll cause a scene if you continue to stare." Then in a quieter tone, she added, "You don't want any more attention. I'm just trying to help."

  "Thank you. You're a dear friend, Amelia." I meant each word.

  "Yes, well, I know." She arched her eyebrow playfully and led me into a box high above the stage. She announced our arrival to her brother Nigel and his wife Lorena before directing me to a seat at the very front of the box. As I leaned over the edge, she touched my arm softly.

  "You mustn't lean over. Glance." She showed me a perfect postured glance over the edge, and I tried to mimic her actions. "Much better."

  "Ah, ladies, a pleasure to see you both." Turning toward the voice, I saw Lord Ashby take a seat behind us.

  "Oh, no, Lord Ashby, you're my guest! I must insist you sit here in front. You don't mind, Jocelyn?" She looked pointedly at the seat next to me, and I caught her drift.

  "Of course not. Please, sit." I smiled and motioned to the empty chair.

  "Thank you, Miss Westin. I trust you're looking forward to tonight's performance?"

  "More than you can imagine. I believe it will be as if I were here for the first time." I spoke playfully, hoping he'd catch on.

  His eyes crin
kled, and his smile widened. "Yes, I would imagine so."

  "I almost lost my balance earlier I was so absorbed in trying to notice each detail. This place is beautiful."

  He paused, regarding the room." You're right. I suppose one grows accustomed to its grandeur once it's been experienced repeatedly. But I see what you mean." He began to study the moldings in the ceiling and the carved arches of the boxes. "It is magnificent, isn't it?"

  "Yes, it is," I agreed.

  The orchestra began to play, and I felt myself leaning forward slightly to watch them warm up. A tingling sensation on the back of my neck caused me to glance up. Lord Ashby grinned sheepishly as I caught him watching my rapt attention on the orchestra.

  "Don't stop on my account, the music is the best part most times." He leaned forward with me as I focused once again on the orchestra. Even though he wasn't touching me, our shoulders were close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off his body. The warmth made me shiver, and I wanted to be closer.

  Glancing over, I found him watching me again. The cool blue of his eyes set my belly to tingling. His gaze moved from mine and caressed my features before focusing on my lips. He cleared his throat and pulled slightly away.

  Unable to move, I waited as my heart pounded violently. He didn't even touch me. Who knew a look could be more intimate than a kiss? Blinking, I leaned back and focused my attention onto the pre-performance antics taking place on the stage.

  "Saw that," Amelia whispered in my ear.

  "What do I do?" I whispered back. Short of working a fan, I had no idea how to flirt properly. It wasn't something I was naturally good at anyway.

  "Talk. I gave you the opportunity… do something with it." She winked and went back to conversing with her sister-in-law.

  Thank you, Amelia.

  "Miss Westin?" I turned to face Lord Ashby, waiting for his question. "Would you do me the honor of riding in Hyde with me sometime?"